Phom rian ruu paa saa thai mai? Mai chai!

I'm getting pretty familiar with thai now, from hanging with Sing and crew. I can have entire (albeit simple) conversations and people understand. The pronunciation in and of itself is fairly intuitive. The real trick is the tonalities. There are five tones in thai: flat, low, high, rising and falling. It's hard to know how high and low to go without sounding like you're making fun of the language. I can go pretty low you know. Everything said with a rising tone always sounds like a question, no matter what you do. The word for three, saam, always sounds like "three?". No way around it. For the Thais, three will forever be a question without an answer.

The Last Life in the Universe

Some of you have probably heard me rave about this movie (and it won't be the last time). It's one of my favorite movies, and it just so happens to be thai.

Thai cinema has really grown into something special in the past several years. And my favorite of the crop is Pen-Ek Ratanaruang's Last Life in the Universe. If you want to get a rewarding glimpse into thai culture (as well as japanese culture), or if you just want to see a great flick, see it.

If you dig that, then see 6ixty9ine, and then Mon Rak Transistor. Then Fun Bar Karaoke. Then watch Last Life in the Universe again.

Having Funny

Whenever Sing wants to know if i'm having a good time, he asks, "Are you funny?"

Yes, Sing, I'm hilarious.

Urinal Massage

So i was in the bathroom of a bar last night in Chiang Mai (hip town by the way), and i'm at the urinal doing my thing, and all of a sudden i feel this man's hands on my shoulders. He was massaging me. Then i realized he was the bathroom attendant, which only made it slightly more comfortable for me. I was standing there, peter in hand, while a man was rubbing me down. And he wanted me to PAY for it? I have to keep an eye out for those guys....

Ban Wang Hin

Ban Wang Hin is a small farming village in Tak province on the east bank of the mighty Ping River. When we rode into town, and Sing yelled in thai to everyone we passed, "my new friend!" Everyone laughed and yelled back. There's not a white face for many miles, and i doubt many of the kids have ever seen an actual white person. I actually made a couple kids cry, they were so freaked out. But they came around. Wang Hin is very poor, and people live in organized squalor, but they are in no way self-conscious about it. In fact, everyone seems very content with everything, and i never saw anyone upset. Quite the opposite.

Thai farmhouses are like big one room treehouses on stilts with corrugated tin roofs. The women hang out on platforms and hammocks under the houses during the day, talking and eating and looking after children. Sing and I did your typical farm things- hauling big sacks of rice around, sawing an oil drum in half to make a fire pit, burning things, delivering pig parts, tending pigs, choosing a fat one for the slaughter. I don't know how you tell really- they all looked fat to me.

Once every 20 minutes or so, someone suggests eating something, which is fine with me. Besides fruit (mangos, bananas, lychee, takowp (a delicious berry), oranges, tangerines, coconut), there's sai ko (thai sausages), fried chicken, spicy collards, noodle soups eaten with sugar and chilies, papaya salad with crab legs, all manner of pig parts (here- want some pig?) , and my personal favorite, Miang, which is this sweet rolled oats kind of concoction that's rolled up into a banana leaf.

Everyone all wanted to talk to me, but no one speaks a shred of english. They all wanted to know where i was from, how old i am, and if i had a girlfriend- in that order. I wonder what the preoccupation with girlfriends is all about over here. One of the farmgirls, Oo, followed me around the whole time, enamored of me. She told me in thai that she loved me within five minutes of meeting me. Then she asked me if i loved her too. Whoa, girl- fast women around here. Bao, bao! (slow down!)

Once they got used to me, everyone was very warm and treated me like family- so much that they let the kids crawl all over me in the morning and didn't care if they were screaming right next to my mat. Well, i guess we gotta wake up sometime.

Next weekend, i'm going back to Tak to meet up with Singcha and the boys again, and we're going camping in Western Tak, near the Burmese border. Thailand's biggest waterfall is there (6th biggest in the world). We also (if i understand correctly) are going to stay at the homes of the Karen people, Burmese hill folk. They still use elephants as work animals. Sweet.

check out the pics

Kamphaeng Phet

Kampaeng Phet is a walled fortress town which was a major line of defence against the Burmese hundreds of years ago. And it's COOL. I toured around the town during the day in a pedal cab, chased some kids along the ramparts, climbed a watchtower and scanned the hills as the sun sank towards Burma. There'll be no Burmese victory on my watch.

That night i met Singcha at a disco in town. I don't know what about me made him think i should come home to his village, but whatever i did, i'm glad i did it. The next day he wrangled me out of bed, and we made the 60 mile journey on his moped to Ban Wang Hin, Tak Province.

Rural Thailand

So much has been happening the past few days. I haven't had internet, and i need to sort out this vietnam visa thing, so i'll write about it later. No time now. The short of it all is that a guy named Sing is taking me to his home in Tak province for a day or two. He's a university student in Kamphaeng Phet. And at home he's a pig farmer. He speaks about as much english as i do thai, so this should be interesting... gotta run- i'll write all about it soon.

Sukhothai

Wat Sri Chum, Sukhothai
Originally uploaded by toy ghost.

I am hopelessly in love. Sukhothai is the Thai Pompeii, and i'm hooked. Sowai mak mak doesn't cut it, this place is heaven. Of course, i never tire of ruined cities. I can only imagine what this place looked like in its day.

This morning i rented a dirt bike and rode outside the city walls and explored trails to find hidden temples and overgrown buddhas in the forest. In the day I explored the city proper, squinting my eyes and wishing it was eight hundred years ago. It's so lush here, and the canals are so well designed and extensive, it seems as though they were the roads of the city. Perhaps they were- i need to look into that. The architecture is so impressive, i actually cried at Wat Si Sawai. I just couldn't believe there was something so beautiful. Don't tell the thai girls.

At dusk i got back on the bike and went out and wandered the countryside, through fields and villiages, getting lost and found again. The hills are lovely. I might stay here a while.

Someone might have to come find me, like they had to do with that Dr. Livingstone guy.

Extreme Amendment of Plans.

Ok, so I may be nuts. I am most certainly nuts.

As some of you know, Vesper and Patrick are moving to China. That means... I have to visit them. Qingdao is clear across China from Hanoi, and for those of you who don't know, that's FAR. So I have been stressing the idea- considering time, money, whatnot.

But then i got this potential job. So I have been thinking I will rent workspace in Saigon and do the work. That would mean staying in Saigon for at least six weeks. But it would also mean more money, and money is time. I still need to put a bunch of thought into it, but i also have someone in Saigon who i'm sure would help me out with logistics.

So there you have it. I've lost my mind. I'm setting up shop in Vietnam.

Up North

I just spent the last day and a half getting up to northern rural thailand. On the train they were blasting the AC and it was cold, so the girl next to me shared her Mickey Mouse towel with me as a blanket. We must have looked really silly, huddled sleeping there under a Mickey Mouse towel. But she was very sweet, as are most all of the Thai people i've met.

I've also noticed that Thai people usually smell really good. This girl smelled fantastic. Like tropical potpourri...

Now i'm in the ancient capitol of Siam, Sukhothai. And just typing that makes me excited.

Skull Island

The jaunt to Koh Tao was hilarious. Koh Tao is the perfect pirate hideout/ King Kong island. Totally wild and gorgeous. We hitched a ride on the back of a coconut truck to the other side of the island with three monkeys who had the same idea. I guess they have friends over there. We found the cove that was recommended to us, Ao Tanote, which is remote and quiet. Until we got there, at least.

When we got there, there were only a bunch of Burmese fisherman and a really interesting Russian couple from Vladivostok, which is in the extreme east of Russia. I never thought i'd meet anyone from such a random place. He was this huge, square-jawed, quintessential Russian, and he bought bottles of rum and played and sang great Russian folk songs on my guitar. His girlfriend was hotter than the back of an old television set, and very funny. We spent most of the night at the tavern, harrassing the barmaids like Malaysian spice pirates.

The next day the Burmese guys took us fishing out on the ocean. I caught a few yellow snapper and a barracuda. Nothing to write home about. Shit- i just did... We took the fish back and gave lots of them away- heroes we were. We cooked the rest on a fire on the beach and fed the Russians and the barmaids, who rewarded us with rum. Arrr....

The next day i did some snorkeling and then i met a really cool, sowai mak mak (beautiful) islander named Min. She ended up taking me to a beach dance party that night with a bunch of Thais. I wish i knew more thai, because i really liked her. Must learn Thai. Still, it was great to hang out with the locals on that level. Korp kun khrap, Min.

When it was time to leave the island, the girls working the desk stuffed my pack full of coconuts while i wasn't looking, and i didn't figure it out until i got to the pier. Very funny, girls. I thought it felt heavier than usual...

*Update: I just found some rocks stuffed in there too...jerks!

Lonald

They call Ronald McDonald "Donald" McDonald here because of the asian "r" pronunciation issue. Ronald becomes "Lonald", which of course is no good.

"Just screw it guys... call me Donald."

Ting Tong

There's a guy who walks the beach all day selling ice cream, and he sings this song- "Velly good for you, velly good for me, velly good for holidaaaayy.." I can't get it out of my head. Everything is "velly good for you.... velly good for me..."

You can eat pretty well here for less than a dollar. As a consequence, i've stepped up to five meals a day. Breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies... But what eats my baht up is the drinking. It's deceiving, because the food's so cheap, and before i know it, i've spent three day's budget in one day. Things can get pretty ting tong (crazy) here at night too, because of all the mow muk mow (drunk) farangs (whities) on holiday. I'm actually ready to be away from it (tomorrow). I've spoken way more German here than Thai, and i know too much about thai whiskey.

more islands...

Well, Star won her money back at pool. She's a sharp pool player. And she's actually quite a classy gal, with or without her top on.

I'm going to follow some folks to Koh Tao for a few days, and do some diving if possible- I don't know if i can dive with glasses. And to do it without seems silly, because i couldn't see anything. I have to get laser surgery- I'm tired of feeling like a second-class citizen.

Slowly turning brown

I think i see now why people keep coming here, and why many don't leave. It might take considerable effort for me to go back to the mainland.

Yesterday morning i cruised around the island on my motorcycle, through the coconuts groves and past temples and beaches. I think today i might do a bit more exploring, but the beach looks tempting too. In the afternoon yesterday i found a great beach lounge with a fantastic chef, amiable clientele, free pool, and a resident dj who kind of hangs around all day, playing a seemingly endless library of great music. The man has taste, and he likes to talk about it. The place is set up with hammocks and cushions all over the sand. Very nice. Me and a couple sterling brits, a reprobate from Portland, and a fiesty, half-naked thai girl named Star ate mango crepes and played thai dominoes and watched an electric sunset. Star cheats, by the way. But then again, she's from the moon(?). Weirdo.

Later we all biked over to the outdoor thai boxing arena and watched two guys beat the hell out of each other. I spent the winnings from the bets i made with Star on a plate of chicken with thai basil and peanut sauce, and the ride home was warm and dreamy.

And if there's anything sweeter than all that- real, dreamed or imagined-

I don't care.

Asian Traffic

One thing i was thinking about on the bus down here to the islands- asian traffic.

I won't at all try to dance around the fact that traffic in Tokyo is bad, and that traffic in Bangkok is downright intolerable. I guess the fact that tuk-tuk drivers in Bangkok create the nebulous third lane at a whim is ok, if you can get past the fact that it isn't at all. Calm down, Turbo. And the motorbikes don't adhere to any lane system at all, adding more mess to a huge mess. But there's one thing i have to hand to the Thais and Japanese (don't know yet about the other asian countries), and that is that when the light turns red, there's a countdown flashing next to it telling you exactly how long you have to wait to go. Genius! Can you imagine how many road-rage deaths that would prevent in the US each year? Are you with me?

Ill in Bangkok

I got here alright, but then i got this debilitating stomache issue, and i've been laying in bed the past day or so. I don't know where the illness came from, because i haven't really eaten anything here. But i've been taking care of myself.

So there's not much to report other than Bangkok is a human ZOO. I'm astounded by the filth and crowds. Why do people come here again?

I'm not sticking around long enough to find out. I'm heading down south to Ko Samui and beyond for at least a week. I need to find a beautiful place to get lost, as Elliot Smith would say. So if i don't write for a while, it's only because nothing is going on, which is the whole idea.

Sayonara, Nippon-

I had a great time. Tokyo is my kind of town- so much to see and do. I love Japan- Arigato gozaimasu shita! I'll be back soon!

But for today- wheel in the massage table, sign me up for yoga, serve up the yam gai, and point the way to the beach, cause the kid's coming to Thailand!

Tenmyouya Hisashi...

...has just rocketed himself in front of Yamaguchi Akira as my favorite living japanese artist. Check him out! In the spirit world, i think the title goes to Yoshitoshi. I guess he gets the grand title too, because i wouldn't want Hisashi to have to fight a ghost.



While you're at it, grab and read a Yoshimoto Banana book- she rules.

The Duality of Japan

The Duality of Japan
Originally uploaded by toy ghost.

Once in a great while there is a day that comes on sharp and clean like a diamond- its facets unfold like an origami crane and present themselves one by one. It's as if the prism that is the day has caught the light at just the right angle to collapse and distill hundreds of days behind it. Today was a day like this for me. I can see for miles today.

On another note: Sento (japanese public baths)

Usually, above the main bathing pool in these places is a huge mural of Mount Fuji or something equally japanese. In the sento by Woo's place, however, there is a portrait of my summer home, Chillon Castle in Switzerland, which i found both odd and inviting. I love that castle. In the sento in Nippori, the mural is a TV, playing samurai dramas. And you don't get just one soaking pool, you have your jet pool, your COLD pool, your outdoor pool (nice), and an herbal tub that's like sitting in a bowl of beef broth. And another tub that disturbs me. This tub has jets, but the jets don't shoot water, they shoot a mild electrical current. No joke. When you get close to the jet, you start feeling little prickles like when you touch a doorknob sometimes. It's pretty weird, but ok, until you get one on the pee pee. Then , if you sit totally between the two jets, you start to feel like the cartoon character that's getting electrocuted. I felt like people could see my skeleton. Apparently it's good for body aches, but it's just plain weird to me.

But electric tubs aside, after running the circuit of the tubs a few times, I'm left feeling as cool as the back side of your pillow for the rest of the night.

Happy Birthday Mom!

The big 4-0 at last. I remember when you were this high...

Incidentally, January 6 is Joan of Arc and Benjamin Franklin's birthdays as well- that's appropriate. I think you are like both of them! I love you!

Date with Yukiko

The view from the restaurant
Originally uploaded by toy ghost.

I had my date with Yukiko at a restaurant on the 42nd floor of a super modern building in Shiodome. It is an Oregon themed restaurant. It's a beautiful place, and she's one of the most lovely and charming people i've had the pleasure of dining with for a very long time. In fact it was probably the best date i've ever had, considering the exciting circumstances and the dramatic setting. The conversation was engaging and i learned a lot. She is saving money to move to Australia, where she hopes to find work as a web designer. She's just delightful, and has an endearing smile. Thanks for a great time, Yu! I smiled on the train all the way home.

Mysterious

I found the website of Mysterious, the Neo-Tokyo Fooding Bar we went to.

Hard Gay

There's a television personality in Japan called Hoddu Gay. He's this incredibly gay guy who's apparently really funny. Anyhow, he wears his initials on his clothes, etc. And his initials, HG, happen to be mine too. So it's a mission of mine now to find a store that sells Hard Gay merchandise, so i can find a sweet leather biker's cap with a giant sequined HG on the front.

Tokyo Nights

Kabukicho, Tokyo's red light district, has been dubbed the most dangerous district in all of Japan, which isn`t saying a hell of a lot, but still. I didn't get the full story, but one of Woo's friends said he saw a dead person there. Anyhow, it`s glorious- a warren of dirty izakaya (pubs), love hotels, shiny unheard-of sportscars, weird sex clubs, weird people, weird goings-on. After the obligatory japanese strip tease show (i won't get explicit here, but i'm better for it), we were thirsty and found this crazy bar called Mysterious. It's set up like a honeycomb, with all these pod rooms all stacked on each other throughout. It has a dark, space station theme, and the waitresses are all dressed like space hookers. Every once in a while, the spacy ambient music is interrupted by a voice announcing the approach of a star system that you can view off the port bow. We sat on the floor of our pod and had some drinks while Woo talked about these places called "no pants" shabu shabu restaurants where the waitresses serve shabu shabu with , yes, no pants on. Members only, alas. After more shenanigans through the streets, we got ourselves a karaoke room overlooking the messtival below. I recorded Woo's masterful rendition of the Neon Genesis Evangelion theme on this little japanese mp3 recorder i bought. I love my new little spy toy. We all made it out unscathed, in body at least, and played soccer in the street with a ball we found all the way home.

Woo in minshuku

Woo in minshuku
Originally uploaded by toy ghost.

We trekked up north to take in some mountains and snow and onsen (hot springs), but i was laid up with a wicked fever, so i stayed back at the minshuku (japanese inn), sprawled on the futon inventing masochistic visual games involving the ceiling tiles. The mamasan was so great though, and she took care of me well. She brought me some medicine and a block of ice (?) She also brought me some weird lookin stuff on toast, even though i asked for okayu (rice porridge). I`m ok now, but i missed all the reasons i came here.

On another note: the japanese clubhouse sandwich.

Usually, japanese approximations of american food items are akin to drawings a dull child makes from memory. They suck. But for some stroke of lucky genius, some japanese guy decided to put a fried egg in a clubhouse sandwich. And culinary history is made. A japanese improvement on an american classic.

Little girls playing a little game

Little girls playing a little game
Originally uploaded by toy ghost.

OMG! Miru!! Kawaii desu ne!!! I DEFY you to show me anything cuter, EVAR!! I wanna hug`em and eat`em!!

That little change purse- Q-T!

Omotesando dori

Omotesando dori
Originally uploaded by toy ghost.

Harajuku is cool and all, but where is everybody? This place is dullsville. Tumbleweed town. With no one around, it `s enough for a fella to start talking to himself....

The thing about socks with no toes.

Everyone i ask about the fabled socks with no toes looks at me like i just asked them to slap me in the face. "Are you serious?" is a common answer. I did, however find some lovely socks WITH individual toes. I`ll keep on it Rachel, but if push comes to shove and you still insist on the hobo look, feel free to cut the toes off these.

Stray in Yanaka Cemetery

Stray in Yanaka Cemetery
Originally uploaded by toy ghost.

There are strays that live in Yanaka Cemetery. I caught them this morning drinking out of the funeral vases. A couple crows came by and chased them off. The crows apparently wanted to bathe at the same plot. The cats scrambled over a wall and disappeared among the stone lanterns.


Some more photos here.